Recently, a friend of mine asked of me: ”You’re really into this spontaneity thing, aren’t you?”

I had to admit, that yes – I am. The comment came on the heels of a spur-of-the-moment road trip to a nearby state park, a nice 4-hour round trip, with the sole excuse being to see the sunset. (Other reasons: Some time to be quiet, think, pray and worship.)

I think one of the reasons I like to “live in the moment” is because it helps me combat the daily drudgery – the feeling of just “going through the motions.” It refreshes me, curbing the desire to just let things coast… or not put in 100%.

Sometimes the feeling can be rather disheartening.

Last night on my way home from watching the craptastic Knowing movie with some friends, a song came on the radio, and it seemed to be an excellent prayer:

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

– Matthew West, The Motions.

As Jesus is on his way from Judea, he is approached by a young man: ”Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?”

The answer he gets is a bit puzzling — ”Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

The ruler thought this part easy, and he promises he has done this all his life. Not quite satisfied, the ruler asks: ”All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?”

And here’s the really uncomfortable part — Jesus issues a challenge to the ruler, ”If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

This young ruler was rich, you see — and when the challenge sank in, his spirits fell and he walked away grieving.

Most people are familiar with the story of the rich young ruler — but I wonder if we don’t fully understand what the challenge means, in terms that seem applicable to us today….

Over the last few weeks, I’ve come across several passages that all seem to point back at the same core tenet: Seek first God, all else is secondary.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, ”If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24)

My fear is seeing people who read this passage and turn it into some weird twisted legalistic thing. They end up needlessly keeping themselves from doing things because they think blocking themselves from doing those said things is to deny themselves.

Take ice cream: I enjoy ice cream. A lot. I find it rather enjoyable to eat. Now, I don’t think that the passage is telling me to deny eating food. Or deny myself eating ice cream, or even deny myself enjoying eating said ice cream.

So what does it mean?

I think the passage refers to denying ourselves the things that we put ahead of our relationship with God. The challenge to “deny yourself” as issued by Jesus, is really a challenge to deny sin. That can be a difficult struggle to live out, but also a very fulfilling one.

For the rich young ruler, the challenge was to give up all his carefully collected riches. His most important things he was asked to give away.

Some are afraid of losing money. Others their big house, car or boat. Maybe it’s prestige and social standing…. Idolatry. We put other things before God, stupidly thinking it will do us good.

For me, it’s often trust: Silly as it may sound, my brain tries to twist reality into me thinking that I can take care of myself better than God, and so I don’t trust that he has what’s best for me in mind.

But just as with the rich young ruler, we are issued the same challenge:

Let it go. Give it up.

Of course this is all easier said than done. But we have a helper — He is more than willing to help us through the struggle. He’ll give us strength when it’s difficult, he’ll give us comfort when it’s tough, and through all it, there is love.

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

Yeeeah

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

[Chorus]
Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest
[x2]

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

[Chorus x2]

Hosanna in the highest

— Hillsong United, Hosanna

As some of you know, a little over a year ago I bought a house here in Austin.

It did not dawn on me until the evening of the one year anniversary that it had been an entire year since I bought it.

It’s been crazy.

A few things that were done:

• Carpet removed
• Minor kitchen remodel
• Inside was entirely repainted (with many thanks to my friends who helped me)
• Hardwood floor installed (again, with many thanks to those that helped)
• A deck was added to the back (thanks dad and others)
• Vent added to master bath (part of the roof replacement (don’t ask (bad storm (3” hail))))
• New kitchen counters, ordered last week. (3” granite with tile backsplash)

I have a few small things to finish – railings on the deck, and transition strips for all the flooring. Oh, and paint sills and casings white. And then I’m done… at least for a while.

It’s been a trip, a lot of blood, sweat and tears – but as I sit here and listen to my roommate’s music, in the end it’s been worth it.

So I’m in Baltimore attending the NEXT conference – and listening to the speaker tonight, I was having the hardest time focusing on what he was teaching.

Then I started reviewing my notes, and boy, how I was twisting what he was saying when I was trying to write it down…. It didn’t make any sense.

Then my brain started playing tricks on me, and I was having these really weird emotionally self-destructive thoughts (for those not familiar with my newfound (thanks to therapy (and yes, I’m nesting parenthesizes)) self-examination and realizations, no — I’m not talking suicide or anything else, just… sometimes you start thinking of things and it goes downhill from there)….

And it occurred to me, it was time to pray.

I spent a good amount of time praying — in fact, I probably missed almost half of his teaching. But sometimes that’s just how things work out.

Later, as I’m sitting in my room finding the boarding pass information online, I overheard one of my roommates and his friends discussing how they felt disconnected during the session — just like I had. For one of them it was so strong that he ended up leaving, just to end up being ministered to by God outside showing him the falseness of his thoughts.

The moral of the story:

Do NOT underestimate the power of spiritual warfare, especially if you are in a room with some-3000 other Christians worshiping God at a conference that is being blanketed in prayer.

Sometimes Satan strikes when we think we are at our strongest….

The following has been standing out in my mind a lot this last week:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

— Matthew 6:25-34

Recently I was a somewhat unwilling participant in one of those oh-so-useful object lessons from God.

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.

I was in a situation where I was at a fork in the road. Take the broad way, the way I wanted to go, or the narrow road – the road I should choose.

Take the road my selfish self wanted to take, or obey God and go the other way.

I cried out in frustration, screamed and prayed. And He never wavered. “Go back. GO BACK.”

I could feel it in my soul.

And as I made my choice and dusted the cobwebs off the road less traveled, I felt at peace.