Heard this one on Sunday, and given the recent anniversary about John, I broke down crying.
But I think I’m all good now.
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
Chorus:
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
I can’t believe it’s been 5 years. Since I got the email from a friend asking if I knew where John was. Since I got that nagging feeling in the back of my gut that something was wrong.
Later that day I received another email and the nagging feeling turned into pain. Anger. Sadness. Grief.
John was dead. He was swept away and buried 4 feet under by an avalanche while, ironically enough, taking an avalanche safety course.
He was one of my closest friends, a strong Christian brother and one of my earliest mentors, continually challenging me to grow and mature in my faith.
It would be a lie to say that time has healed all the pain, but I look forward to the day when we will meet again.
Sorry for the multiple lyrics posts, but this song hit me pretty hard this last week on the way in to work…
Sometimes while I'm driving
Trying to find my song
Looking for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are bringin' me back home
(chorus) Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me
Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are bringin' me back home
(chorus)
Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Still lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally sweet Jesus is bringin' me back home
(chours)
That He died upon a tree.
Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are
The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are
You are
Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are
The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are
You are.
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are
The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are
You are
(Chorus)
All I am I want to lay down at Your feet 3x
(Chorus)
I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I stored.
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold, and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."
I’m sitting in a giant aluminum tube, chasing through the sky at 600 miles an hour, and it feels right.
It’s peaceful, around me people are sleeping, a few seat-back screens are showing a random selection of movies, and it is as if this, right here, right now, is what it’s all about.
Being surrounded by orthodox Jews, although a first in experience, seems as natural as if they’d been there every day of my life. This is but one of many things I was about to experience on this trip over the next 13 days.
It all started the night before - I was returning a dog I’d been sitting, when I was overcome with despair. I don’t know what was the cause, but all I wanted to do at the time, was to NOT GO.
You read me right: I wanted to stay home. Ignoring the cost, and not to mention the trip of a lifetime. It was all disposable at that exact moment.
Surely that’s crazy talk, right? Well, such is the power of spiritual warfare at it’s best. After texting for prayers, and spending some quality time praying, I dropped off Mr. Darcy and went home to finish packing.
I don’t remember much of the 3am wake-up, getting to the airport, or the flight to Newark. Except the Crazyness of the Sassone’s side-trip to Houston to renew Heather’s passport. You see, your passport has to be valid at least 6 months after the return from visiting Israel or you can’t go, and Heather’s passport expired in March. I’m inclined to allow them to tell the story of that adventure… but they did get to Tel Aviv.
On the topic of passports, though - the Sassone’s weren’t the only ones with passport trouble. Amanda also managed to lose hers on the flight to Newark, which causes trouble continuing international travel as you can imagine. I think I spy a passport-telling story in the future after all….
… so there I am, 36000 feet up in the air, and feeling very much at peace. As I’d be told several days later, I am going “home” after all. And as you’ll see, it wasn’t until a while later that I realized this.
A friend of mine accidentally exhibited some behavior that I have a bit of baggage about in my past. And my first instinct was to think the worst of her, and in my initial communique I was significantly more accusatory than I needed to be.
In talking back and forth, turns out it was an accident - we were a victim of some non-obvious user interface behavior behavior on a certain social networking site.
That’s when It hit me - the fact that right off the bat, I had assumed the worst of her… how twisted of me is that?
About the same time, I had a response from said friend, in which she challenged me to be more courteous the next time, et cetera. It was quite a bit of a wake-up.
I ended up thanking her for having confronted me and apologizing profusely for thinking that she had done it out of malice.
It reminded me of a quote I’ve read online many times:
Do not attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.
I work like it’s up to me,
and pray like it’s up to Him.
I came across those words online the other day, and it struck me… While I might have that in my head, it’s not necessarily in my heart.
Often I don’t pray like it’s up to Him. See, I like being in control. When I do things, I know they’re done right. And that means that I then don’t trust God to do a good enough job for me. But that’s crazy, I mean… really, that’s crazy. Not to mention foolish.
And yet I do it, day after day, all the while wondering when I’m going to learn that lesson.
Take heed, friends, and learn from my foolishness.
Recently, a friend of mine asked of me: ”You’re really into this spontaneity thing, aren’t you?”
I had to admit, that yes - I am. The comment came on the heels of a spur-of-the-moment road trip to a nearby state park, a nice 4-hour round trip, with the sole excuse being to see the sunset. (Other reasons: Some time to be quiet, think, pray and worship.)
I think one of the reasons I like to “live in the moment” is because it helps me combat the daily drudgery - the feeling of just “going through the motions.” It refreshes me, curbing the desire to just let things coast… or not put in 100%.
Sometimes the feeling can be rather disheartening.
Last night on my way home from watching the craptastic Knowing movie with some friends, a song came on the radio, and it seemed to be an excellent prayer:
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”
As Jesus is on his way from Judea, he is approached by a young man: ”Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?”
The answer he gets is a bit puzzling — ”Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”
The ruler thought this part easy, and he promises he has done this all his life. Not quite satisfied, the ruler asks: ”All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?”
And here’s the really uncomfortable part — Jesus issues a challenge to the ruler, ”If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
This young ruler was rich, you see — and when the challenge sank in, his spirits fell and he walked away grieving.
Most people are familiar with the story of the rich young ruler — but I wonder if we don’t fully understand what the challenge means, in terms that seem applicable to us today….
Over the last few weeks, I’ve come across several passages that all seem to point back at the same core tenet: Seek first God, all else is secondary.
Then Jesus said to His disciples, ”If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24)
My fear is seeing people who read this passage and turn it into some weird twisted legalistic thing. They end up needlessly keeping themselves from doing things because they think blocking themselves from doing those said things is to deny themselves.
Take ice cream: I enjoy ice cream. A lot. I find it rather enjoyable to eat. Now, I don’t think that the passage is telling me to deny eating food. Or deny myself eating ice cream, or even deny myself enjoying eating said ice cream.
So what does it mean?
I think the passage refers to denying ourselves the things that we put ahead of our relationship with God. The challenge to “deny yourself” as issued by Jesus, is really a challenge to deny sin. That can be a difficult struggle to live out, but also a very fulfilling one.
For the rich young ruler, the challenge was to give up all his carefully collected riches. His most important things he was asked to give away.
Some are afraid of losing money. Others their big house, car or boat. Maybe it’s prestige and social standing…. Idolatry. We put other things before God, stupidly thinking it will do us good.
For me, it’s often trust: Silly as it may sound, my brain tries to twist reality into me thinking that I can take care of myself better than God, and so I don’t trust that he has what’s best for me in mind.
But just as with the rich young ruler, we are issued the same challenge:
Let it go. Give it up.
Of course this is all easier said than done. But we have a helper — He is more than willing to help us through the struggle. He’ll give us strength when it’s difficult, he’ll give us comfort when it’s tough, and through all it, there is love.
