(Alternate title: ’How do we keep a Godly perspective in times of trouble.’)
I usually have a hard rule regarding not writing anything on the internet that involves my day job. Far too many people have gotten in trouble for mixing their work and personal lives, in one way or another.
I am going to break that rule because I think that the lesson I have learned (and the benefit to others from my realization) is important enough to risk the consequences of writing about it here.
I have had a bad attitude about work.
It’s bad, really bad. While I still did my job, and I did it to the best of my ability each and every day, my heart was no longer in it. I felt complacent, I felt entitled. I took it for granted.
I hid it well, at least that’s what I thought. While my attitude seemed largely hidden, every so often some of it would slip through. Often it was disguised as me upholding my boundaries, but underneath the carefully maintained facade was a seething storm of discontentment.
When talking about it with friends or asking for prayer about it, I would veil over it as the troubles being everybody else’s problems but mine. Blame a boss, or coworker, or corporate politics, or pick any of a million reasons to be unhappy with your job - I was doing well at deflecting the responsibility for my attitude.
And therein lies the crux of the problem: Responsibility.
You are responsible for your own thoughts, actions and emotions. Conversely, nobody else is responsible for your thoughts, actions and emotions, nor are you responsible for anyone else’s thoughts, actions and emotions.1
The words rang true in my mind as I sat there reeling under the onslaught of conviction for what I was doing. I had lost sight of what was important. I had to start taking responsibility for my emotions, actions and words.
It is written in James 1:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
Perseverance through trials builds character. Maturity. Growth. While not an enjoyable experience, this is a good thing, with an even better end result. Which is why we should be joyful about the opportunity, even if being in the middle of it doesn’t feel very joyful.
Thus begins the heart change. But there’s more to trying to change how I was thinking about the situation, especially one where I was so deeply entrenched in the bad attitude I had toward it.
Philippians 4 helps us with our focus:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Instead of constantly focusing on the bad parts, the disappointment, the frustrations, the politics or whatever else negative I’d been focusing on, I should focus on the blessings, the good things.
I am blessed to have a job. It’s a good job. It pays well. It puts food on the table, and a roof over my head. I could say all these things with an air of reluctance - forced gratitude, if I may call it that. But I actually am really glad for all of it.
Uncooperative coworkers, or managers that make decisions that just seem to pile on the work, can be a blessing - I have to practice exhibiting grace, I have to learn to deal with people and situations in a constructive way, instead of lashing out in anger or frustration.
That’s how we are called to behave, interact, deal with people. Not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s difficult. That’s what makes for the biggest growth opportunity.
And growth is something we should look forward to and embrace, not fear.
1Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 3For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.
7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
Suffering for Being a Christian
12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And,
“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”*
19So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
John 17
Jesus Prays for Himself
1After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. 5And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.
Jesus Prays for His Disciples
6“I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. 12While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. 13“I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Jesus Prays for All Believers
20“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25“Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”
Heard this one on Sunday, and given the recent anniversary about John, I broke down crying.
But I think I’m all good now.
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
Chorus:
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
I can’t believe it’s been 5 years. Since I got the email from a friend asking if I knew where John was. Since I got that nagging feeling in the back of my gut that something was wrong.
Later that day I received another email and the nagging feeling turned into pain. Anger. Sadness. Grief.
John was dead. He was swept away and buried 4 feet under by an avalanche while, ironically enough, taking an avalanche safety course.
He was one of my closest friends, a strong Christian brother and one of my earliest mentors, continually challenging me to grow and mature in my faith.
It would be a lie to say that time has healed all the pain, but I look forward to the day when we will meet again.
Sorry for the multiple lyrics posts, but this song hit me pretty hard this last week on the way in to work…
Sometimes while I'm driving
Trying to find my song
Looking for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are bringin' me back home
(chorus) Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me
Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally the children are bringin' me back home
(chorus)
Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Still lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Finally sweet Jesus is bringin' me back home
(chours)
That He died upon a tree.
Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are
The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are
You are
Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are
The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are
You are.
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are
The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are
You are
(Chorus)
All I am I want to lay down at Your feet 3x
(Chorus)
I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I stored.
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold, and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."
I’m sitting in a giant aluminum tube, chasing through the sky at 600 miles an hour, and it feels right.
It’s peaceful, around me people are sleeping, a few seat-back screens are showing a random selection of movies, and it is as if this, right here, right now, is what it’s all about.
Being surrounded by orthodox Jews, although a first in experience, seems as natural as if they’d been there every day of my life. This is but one of many things I was about to experience on this trip over the next 13 days.
It all started the night before - I was returning a dog I’d been sitting, when I was overcome with despair. I don’t know what was the cause, but all I wanted to do at the time, was to NOT GO.
You read me right: I wanted to stay home. Ignoring the cost, and not to mention the trip of a lifetime. It was all disposable at that exact moment.
Surely that’s crazy talk, right? Well, such is the power of spiritual warfare at it’s best. After texting for prayers, and spending some quality time praying, I dropped off Mr. Darcy and went home to finish packing.
I don’t remember much of the 3am wake-up, getting to the airport, or the flight to Newark. Except the Crazyness of the Sassone’s side-trip to Houston to renew Heather’s passport. You see, your passport has to be valid at least 6 months after the return from visiting Israel or you can’t go, and Heather’s passport expired in March. I’m inclined to allow them to tell the story of that adventure… but they did get to Tel Aviv.
On the topic of passports, though - the Sassone’s weren’t the only ones with passport trouble. Amanda also managed to lose hers on the flight to Newark, which causes trouble continuing international travel as you can imagine. I think I spy a passport-telling story in the future after all….
… so there I am, 36000 feet up in the air, and feeling very much at peace. As I’d be told several days later, I am going “home” after all. And as you’ll see, it wasn’t until a while later that I realized this.
A friend of mine accidentally exhibited some behavior that I have a bit of baggage about in my past. And my first instinct was to think the worst of her, and in my initial communique I was significantly more accusatory than I needed to be.
In talking back and forth, turns out it was an accident - we were a victim of some non-obvious user interface behavior behavior on a certain social networking site.
That’s when It hit me - the fact that right off the bat, I had assumed the worst of her… how twisted of me is that?
About the same time, I had a response from said friend, in which she challenged me to be more courteous the next time, et cetera. It was quite a bit of a wake-up.
I ended up thanking her for having confronted me and apologizing profusely for thinking that she had done it out of malice.
It reminded me of a quote I’ve read online many times:
Do not attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.
I work like it’s up to me,
and pray like it’s up to Him.
I came across those words online the other day, and it struck me… While I might have that in my head, it’s not necessarily in my heart.
Often I don’t pray like it’s up to Him. See, I like being in control. When I do things, I know they’re done right. And that means that I then don’t trust God to do a good enough job for me. But that’s crazy, I mean… really, that’s crazy. Not to mention foolish.
And yet I do it, day after day, all the while wondering when I’m going to learn that lesson.
Take heed, friends, and learn from my foolishness.
