As part of my therapy sessions, we’ve been discussing emotional needs.
One of the statements made, is that in order to have a relationship between two people, you have to really understand and buy into the following three statements about emotional needs:
Everybody has emotional needs
It is okay to have emotional needs
It is good to have your emotional needs met
By “understand” I don’t just mean that you have to read them and agree to it on some superficial level - you have to really believe it. In your heart, not just your head.
From this list:
Attention
Acceptance
Appreciation
Affirmation
Affection
Comfort
Encouragement
Respect
Security
Support
Understanding
… it appears that my top three emotional needs are respect, acceptance and understanding.
Something that’s been on my mind a lot the last few months, is the concept of being authentic.
One of my struggles has always been the struggle between fully being myself, and being some slightly tempered-down version of me that is more palatable to people around me. (for any definition of “palatable”)
Especially in the workplace, where many people have expectations around you. Image, behavior, often opinions - you name it. We’re constantly pigeon-holed, whether we want it or not.
I don’t think it’s good to deny yourself, however little - so one of my nearer-term goals is to be more authentic.